Is Wearing a VR Headset During Sex with Your Spouse Cheating?

M. Christian
5 Min Read

Virtual reality offers new and controversial avenues for exploring sexuality.

The adult entertainment company VR Bangers [NSFW] recently launched a marketing campaign promoting the use of a virtual reality headset to supposedly “cheat” on your spouse while you are having sex with them.

The YouTube video description pretty much spells it out: “Ever wonder what it feels like to be in bed with a Hot porn star or cheat on your wife/girlfriend without cheating? Well, wonder no more! We have the answer for you!”

The video features a man tired of having sex with his wife, who is depicted as heavyset and with a bag over her head. His solution? For him to wear a VR headset so, to him, he’ll be seeing an adult performer of his choosing instead of his wife.

A joke or serious innovation?

While supposedly humorous, the video’s obvious misogyny generates more winces than laughter. Yet it does bring up some interesting ideas about the use of virtual reality and augmented reality (AR) when combined with a partner.

In fact, our Future of Sex Report had already mentioned this as a coming development. Under the section on human augmentation, we predict that AR will, “Make your partner look like your celebrity crush or enhance their appearance while you are having sex with digital overlay technology.”

Seeing what it’s all about

While VR Bangers is supporting this same idea with a less-than-clever marketing gimmick, the concept remains intriguing. Emerging technology will soon allow someone to wear either a totally immersive virtual reality rig or an augmented reality one to add to a couple’s sexual experience.

The headsets could superimpose a digital image over existing reality, which could include your partner’s physical body, while you get busy between the sheets. This could offer a realistic illusion of being with a totally different person‚or even something not at all human.

Putting aside the whole idea of “cheating”—since it seems near-impossible to be unfaithful while carrying out an activity both participants consent to— let’s play with some of these erotic possibilities.

A world of visual possibilities

One of the first that comes to mind goes back to the “even something not at all human” I mentioned earlier

Using VR or AR rigs, it would be possible for your partner to wear the features, or even the body, of anything from a chromed, robot-like form (for technosexuals) to an anthropomorphic animal (for furry fans). In fact, if both partners are wearing rigs it would be possible for them to see, and be seen, as anything they desire.

There could even be a form of romantic application: the ability to recreate how each partner looked in the past, as well as how they might look in the future as a way of easing into the visual realities of aging.

The erotic possibilities are pretty obvious, but there’s also the idea of using visually enhanced sex therapeutically. By altering the image each person sees, it could be possible to experiment with new orientations, body types, or even genders. It could also be a useful tool to help those with anxiety during sex by increasing or decreasing the amount of visual information received, especially coupled with a skilled partner.

Then there are the social aspects of enhanced vision during sex. What happens to prejudice when everything about your partner’s appearance can be altered? The same is true in reverse: with the ability to look down during sex and see an entirely different person, how might that open your eyes?

The future within sight

While it’s a little disappointing that the VR Bangers’ video has been many people’s introduction to the concept of visually enhanced sex, it is still encouraging to see it at least being discussed.

Not to sound too flippant about a technology that could very well be a huge blessing and add a lot of fun to human sexuality, but we’ll all just have to wait for its real impact: we’ll have to see, with or without enhancement, where all this might lead.

Image source: VR Bangers, Maurizio Pesce, re:publica

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M.Christian (they/them) loves nothing better than exploring the intersections of sex and technology—and speculating on the future of both. A highly regarded erotica writer they have six novels,12 collections, 100+ short stories, and 25 anthologies as an editor to their name. Their non-fiction regularly appears in many sites, but they're most proud of being a regular contributor to Future of Sex. Of their erotic fiction, Tristan Taormino said that “M.Christian is a literary stylist of the highest caliber: smart, funny, frightening, sexy—there's nothing [they] can't write about… and brilliantly.” Reflecting their unique ability to sympathetically and convincingly write for a range of genders and sexual orientations, their stories have appeared in multiple editions of Best American Erotica, Best Gay Erotica, Best Lesbian Erotica, The Mammoth Books of Erotica, and others. Their collection of gay erotic fiction, Dirty Words, was a finalist for the Lambda Literary Award. While a majority of their stories have been collected into books like Dirty Words, their fondness for combining sex and science fiction is clearly evident in collections that include Rude Mechanicals, Technorotica, Better Than The Real Thing, Skin Effect Effect, Bachelor Machine, and Hard Drive: The Best Sci-Fi Erotica of M.Christian. As a novelist, M.Christian’s versatility is on full display with Running Dry, The Very Bloody Marys, Brushes, Painted Doll; and the somewhat controversial queer BDSM/horror/thrillers Finger's Breadth, and Me2. M.Christian has worked on the industry’s production side as an Associate Publisher for Renaissance E Books and as a Publisher for Digital Parchment Services. The latter dedicated to celebrating the works of science-fiction legends such as William Rotsler, Jerome Bixby, Jody Scott, Arthur Byron Cover, Ernest Hogan, and James Van Hise. Covering topics like BDSM safety, sexual education, senior sexuality concerns, queer and gender issues, plus reviewing a variety of sex tech products, M.Christian’s non-fiction has appeared on sites like Kinkly, Tickle.Life, Sexpert, Queer Majority, Sex for Every Body, and—of course—their ongoing work for Future of Sex. If there’s anything M.Christian enjoys more than writing, it’s teaching. A featured presenter, sometimes with their friend Ralph Greco Jr, at national sex and BDSM events, they have lectured on kink play (with an emphasis on safety), polyamory, boosting sexual creativity, and erotica writing--for beginners or those wanting to go pro. M.Christian is a cohost on two popular sex-education podcasts: Love’s Outer Limits with Dr. Amy Marsh and Licking Non-Vanilla with Ralph Greco, Jr.
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