Brazzers Dreams of Projecting Adult Stars into Your Living Room

M. Christian
4 Min Read

Video showcases a fantasy smartphone optimized for erotic content.

The imaginary Brazzers Peach projects erotic actors from a smartphone.

Google, Apple, anything Elon Musk’s involved with—these are what come to mind when most people think of companies looking to the future of technology.

Now you can add Brazzers [NSFW], the Montreal-based adult entertainment giant, to that list for its imagination.

Peanut butter and chocolate, technology and adult entertainment

To be fair, the adult company doesn’t have the resources that Apple or Musk has, but that hasn’t stopped Brazzers from having some fun imagining its own particular vision of what adult entertainment might be like in the future.

As many have observed, sex has been a huge motivator for technological development. As the old joke goes, the first photograph may have been what was out the photographer’s window, but the second was the photographer—naked.

Take a bite of the Peach

What Brazzer has envisioned, with tongue firmly (and rather sensuously) in cheek, is its own unique brand of smartphone: the Brazzers Peach (get it?).

This sex-focused handheld would have everything the dedicated adult film watcher would ever want, beginning with their own and exceedingly intimate—version of Apple’s facial security system.

Except in the case of the Peach, it doesn’t require a face to unlock it, rather another part of the male anatomy.

Alas, Brazzers doesn’t share with us what their female-identified users might have to use to unlock its features, or if there is some kind of native algorithm to take cases of cold weather “shrinkage” in mind for men.

A built-in vibrator

Next up, the Peach comes with an integrated accessory that is worn on this penis, for men, or around a few fingers, for women—and that “vibrates for maximum pleasure” for any user.

Naturally, the sex-specific phones are splash and stain resistant and even come equipped with some, as yet unknown, way of detecting the possibility of interruption.

Hi, my name is ZZ

No smartphone would be complete without a personal assistant This time, though, you wouldn’t have to try and trick uptight voice assistants like Apple’s Siri or Microsoft’s Cortana into sexy talk, as the Peach would have a truly-dedicated version named ZZ.

Last but not least, Brazzers pictures a leap from simple 2D images to three-dimensional technology via a built-in miniature hologram generator.

The stuff of which wet dreams are made

Speaking to The Next Web, Gary Ticher, the company’s marketing director, said of the fantasy project: “The Brazzers Peach is what our team thinks a porn-optimized smartphone would be, if it actually existed. It’s the phone that dreams are made of.”

While it’s a silly fantasy, it’s still pleasant to see Brazzers having fun with ideas about possible erotic technologies.

Still, there’s a good chance that we actually might be seeing some of the Peach’s features sometime in the near future. And if they do show up on our newest smartphone, just remember the adult company that had the imagination to dream of it first.

Image sources: Brazzers 

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M.Christian (they/them) loves nothing better than exploring the intersections of sex and technology—and speculating on the future of both. A highly regarded erotica writer they have six novels,12 collections, 100+ short stories, and 25 anthologies as an editor to their name. Their non-fiction regularly appears in many sites, but they're most proud of being a regular contributor to Future of Sex. Of their erotic fiction, Tristan Taormino said that “M.Christian is a literary stylist of the highest caliber: smart, funny, frightening, sexy—there's nothing [they] can't write about… and brilliantly.” Reflecting their unique ability to sympathetically and convincingly write for a range of genders and sexual orientations, their stories have appeared in multiple editions of Best American Erotica, Best Gay Erotica, Best Lesbian Erotica, The Mammoth Books of Erotica, and others. Their collection of gay erotic fiction, Dirty Words, was a finalist for the Lambda Literary Award. While a majority of their stories have been collected into books like Dirty Words, their fondness for combining sex and science fiction is clearly evident in collections that include Rude Mechanicals, Technorotica, Better Than The Real Thing, Skin Effect Effect, Bachelor Machine, and Hard Drive: The Best Sci-Fi Erotica of M.Christian. As a novelist, M.Christian’s versatility is on full display with Running Dry, The Very Bloody Marys, Brushes, Painted Doll; and the somewhat controversial queer BDSM/horror/thrillers Finger's Breadth, and Me2. M.Christian has worked on the industry’s production side as an Associate Publisher for Renaissance E Books and as a Publisher for Digital Parchment Services. The latter dedicated to celebrating the works of science-fiction legends such as William Rotsler, Jerome Bixby, Jody Scott, Arthur Byron Cover, Ernest Hogan, and James Van Hise. Covering topics like BDSM safety, sexual education, senior sexuality concerns, queer and gender issues, plus reviewing a variety of sex tech products, M.Christian’s non-fiction has appeared on sites like Kinkly, Tickle.Life, Sexpert, Queer Majority, Sex for Every Body, and—of course—their ongoing work for Future of Sex. If there’s anything M.Christian enjoys more than writing, it’s teaching. A featured presenter, sometimes with their friend Ralph Greco Jr, at national sex and BDSM events, they have lectured on kink play (with an emphasis on safety), polyamory, boosting sexual creativity, and erotica writing--for beginners or those wanting to go pro. M.Christian is a cohost on two popular sex-education podcasts: Love’s Outer Limits with Dr. Amy Marsh and Licking Non-Vanilla with Ralph Greco, Jr.
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