Through the Looking Glass: How a Transparent Society Might Help Reduce Sexual Shame

M. Christian
6 Min Read

“Nothing makes us so lonely as our secrets” –Paul Tournier

Between our need to feel protected and not wanting to be observed without permission, privacy as a social concern, or perhaps as a fundamental right, is skyrocketing.  

What isn’t as frequently discussed is the—admittedly unusual—idea of everyone having the ability to watch everyone else, which could make us emotionally healthier, more open towards our own and other people’s sexuality, and overall much happier.

Living in clear houses

Initially postulated in David Brin’s non-fiction book of the same name, a Transparent Society is one where corporations and governments may keep an eye on us, but we, their citizens and consumers, can do the same to them: a system of surveillance checks and balances designed to keep us safe while preventing our privacy abuses.

Dubbed “sousveillance” by futurist inventor Steve Mann, it’s essentially about the observed having the same rights and access to monitoring technologies as the observer.

Though media depictions of transparent societies aren’t common—and when they are prevalent, a percentage aren’t positive—there have been a couple of notable exceptions.  

While differing dramatically from Dave Eggers‘s novel from which it’s based, the James Ponsoldt-directed film The Circle features a decidedly malevolent corporation whose motto, “privacy is theft,” reveals its plans to gain access to and from there exploit, the entirety of their users’ personal data.  

At the end, this plan is thwarted by the main protagonist, played by Emma Watson, who turns the tables by exposing the corporate head’s own secrets.  

What’s unusual about the movie is its ending, which, rather than implying we should have a right to keep our secrets to ourselves, appears to advocate for the opposite.

In other words, a world where bliss isn’t found in ignorance but instead apparently lies in knowing, thus accepting, everything about everyone by choosing to open our lives to public scrutiny.  It’s a world where piracy isn’t theft, but sharing and openness is an act of giving.

You’re not the only one

We’ve all felt it at one time or another or, if you are particularly unfortunate, a dominating, nearly inescapable awareness that you’re a freak, a weirdo.

For when you look out at the world, your desires and your sexual needs aren’t represented, or when they are, they—and people like you—are mocked and humiliated.

But what if you knew, without a doubt, you aren’t and have never been the only person like that?  Growing up in a society without privacy, where anytime you wanted, you could see there are a thousand, a million people with your passions in common would mean no more painful secrets, suffering in silence, or experiencing shame or guilt.

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Hypocrites, who used to ruin people’s lives for the same things they also did behind closed doors, would be exposed—and previously invisible or endlessly denied sexual crimes revealed. For that matter, a fully transparent society could make lies or deceit obsolete: “I’d like to call the following thousand witnesses to the stand.”  

Loneliness?  Say, “I want to be spanked,” and an equally large number of ready, willing, and excited playmates would knock at your (virtual) door.  

But will they be safe to play with?  Naturally, you—and your millions of friends—will have thoroughly vetted them beforehand.  

A privacy-less world could also help reshape social mores for the better: why even consider acting inappropriately when everyone’s watching you and everybody else? Honesty and understanding could eventually become second nature, as innate to humanity as breathing or as invisibly automatic as our beating hearts.

No need to throw stones

A transparent society is certainly an intriguing concept. If anything, it directly challenges many of our long-held beliefs, like the sanctity of privacy and our fears of being observed—and judged.

However, don’t forget that the most outrageous concepts and important discussions surrounding them can also lead to groundbreakingly original solutions to otherwise impossible-seeming problems.

Who knows?  Maybe I’m not the only person who feels the emotional, sexual, and social possibilities an open society might offer are worth considering—that a degree of awkwardness and social discomfort is a small price to pay for a world where shame, guilt, or loneliness are outdated concepts?

Proving my point, in a transparent society, I wouldn’t feel crazy or wrong, guilty or ashamed because I’d know and be comforted by the fact that I’m not—never, ever—for thinking this way.

Image Sources: Depositphotos

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M.Christian (they/them) loves nothing better than exploring the intersections of sex and technology—and speculating on the future of both. A highly regarded erotica writer they have six novels,12 collections, 100+ short stories, and 25 anthologies as an editor to their name. Their non-fiction regularly appears in many sites, but they're most proud of being a regular contributor to Future of Sex. Of their erotic fiction, Tristan Taormino said that “M.Christian is a literary stylist of the highest caliber: smart, funny, frightening, sexy—there's nothing [they] can't write about… and brilliantly.” Reflecting their unique ability to sympathetically and convincingly write for a range of genders and sexual orientations, their stories have appeared in multiple editions of Best American Erotica, Best Gay Erotica, Best Lesbian Erotica, The Mammoth Books of Erotica, and others. Their collection of gay erotic fiction, Dirty Words, was a finalist for the Lambda Literary Award. While a majority of their stories have been collected into books like Dirty Words, their fondness for combining sex and science fiction is clearly evident in collections that include Rude Mechanicals, Technorotica, Better Than The Real Thing, Skin Effect Effect, Bachelor Machine, and Hard Drive: The Best Sci-Fi Erotica of M.Christian. As a novelist, M.Christian’s versatility is on full display with Running Dry, The Very Bloody Marys, Brushes, Painted Doll; and the somewhat controversial queer BDSM/horror/thrillers Finger's Breadth, and Me2. M.Christian has worked on the industry’s production side as an Associate Publisher for Renaissance E Books and as a Publisher for Digital Parchment Services. The latter dedicated to celebrating the works of science-fiction legends such as William Rotsler, Jerome Bixby, Jody Scott, Arthur Byron Cover, Ernest Hogan, and James Van Hise. Covering topics like BDSM safety, sexual education, senior sexuality concerns, queer and gender issues, plus reviewing a variety of sex tech products, M.Christian’s non-fiction has appeared on sites like Kinkly, Tickle.Life, Sexpert, Queer Majority, Sex for Every Body, and—of course—their ongoing work for Future of Sex. If there’s anything M.Christian enjoys more than writing, it’s teaching. A featured presenter, sometimes with their friend Ralph Greco Jr, at national sex and BDSM events, they have lectured on kink play (with an emphasis on safety), polyamory, boosting sexual creativity, and erotica writing--for beginners or those wanting to go pro. M.Christian is a cohost on two popular sex-education podcasts: Love’s Outer Limits with Dr. Amy Marsh and Licking Non-Vanilla with Ralph Greco, Jr.